10 Signs You Might Be in a Codependent Relationship

A codependent relationship is one where one person consistently prioritises the needs, emotions, and wellbeing of another — often at the expense of their own. While many relationships involve compromise and care, codependent behaviour goes beyond this and can lead to emotional exhaustion, low self-esteem, and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

How Codependency Affects Emotional Wellbeing

Codependency can lead to emotional exhaustion and a loss of identity. As described by WebMD, “Codependency leaves your sense of self-worth and emotions entirely dependent on someone else”.

Recognising the signs of codependency is a vital step towards creating more balanced and fulfilling connections.

1. You struggle to say no

If setting boundaries feels uncomfortable or fills you with guilt, you may be prioritising others to your own detriment.

2. Your self-worth depends on your partner

In codependent relationships, your sense of value may come from being needed, rather than from who you are as a person.

3. You fear being alone

A deep fear of abandonment can keep you in relationships that no longer serve your wellbeing or growth.

4. You consistently put others first

You may ignore your own emotional, physical, or financial needs to avoid disappointing your partner.

5. You feel responsible for your partner’s emotions

You might believe it’s your duty to ‘fix’ or manage how your partner feels, even when it’s beyond your control.

6. You avoid conflict at all costs

To keep the peace, you may suppress your own opinions or pretend everything is fine, which can lead to resentment and burnout.

7. You feel anxious when your partner pulls away

If a partner becomes distant, you might feel intense anxiety, fear, or a need to cling more tightly.

8. You feel guilty when you take time for yourself

Basic self-care or saying “I need space” may trigger shame or fear of being selfish.

9. You stay in harmful relationships

Even if the relationship is emotionally or mentally draining, the fear of being alone may feel stronger than the urge to leave.

10. You’ve lost a sense of who you are

Over time, you may become so focused on your partner that you lose touch with your own identity, interests, or values.

Moving Towards Healthier Relationships

Recognising the signs of codependency can be an important step in understanding yourself better. Codependent behaviour often overlaps with challenges in mental health, such as anxiety, low self-worth or emotional burnout.

With the support of a qualified therapist, it’s possible to rebuild your sense of self, establish emotional boundaries, and cultivate healthier relationships — with others and with yourself.